New Life

Those who become Christians become new persons. They are NOT the same anymore, for the old life is gone. 
A new life has begun!

2 Corinthians 5:17

For the past 19 years I have always considered myself a Christian. Slept and ate through Sunday School. Drew through big church. Lip sang in children/youth choir. Went to hang out with friends on mission trips and other camps. Attended every covered dish meal (raised Baptist). Carried my bible around. So on and So on. I definitely thought I was going to Heaven!

All my life, I thought I knew what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, but this semester I truly discovered what it really meant. I have been battling the disease of depression. Yes, I said disease. I have no control of my thoughts, my actions, my words, and my emotions. I never know when my next horrible breakdown will strike. I hit ROCK BOTTOM; all ALONE. I dug myself into a dark, dark hole; locked down with the chains of depression. I was so far down. The only way out was to go up. I could barely see any light at the top. How could I go up with no one to pull me back up? How could I manage to drag myself out of this darkness when I had no energy? How could I see where I was going? What was going to break these chains so I could start my escape? I had no idea what the solution to these questions were, but this semester I realized the answer to these questions is quite simple. God.

During this time of my life, I realized the only way I could escape was with God's help. He is the only one who can grab my hand and pull me up. He is the strength I need to escape this hole. He is the light that will guide me out. And He could break the chains of my depression. I was telling some friends about my deep depression (most of them witnessing my pain and struggling already), and they encouraged me to get help and ensured me that God was with me in all of this. Hearing that God was with me, I found an urge to read my bible (which I have never done before). I began to pray constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I turned from my wicked ways, and headed down the path the Lord had created me. I completely changed my life around, and realized that the only way I could beat this disease was with the help of my Father. My faith has grow greatly through all this, and I have such a desire to grow closer to him. "I am becoming less and less. He is becoming greater and greater." (John 3:30). I am living for Him. I am sharing His love. I am praising Him for everything. He is Present in my Every Move.

I am currently put on medicine to help with the biological factors of this disease. The medicine has been somewhat of a help. I graduated from therapy last week, and my survey results showed significant progress, but my breakdowns say otherwise. I have faith that God will provide me with the right medicine, care, and love that I need to pull me out of this depression. God has a plan for me. The chains of depression that were once holding me down in the hole, have now been broken by the love and mercy of my Savior.