Loving Family

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God!

Philippians 1:3

One of the biggest blessings God has given me is my loving family! I have always taken my family for granted, and I have never really shown them how much I appreciate them and love them. In the past I never really told anyone in my family anything happening in my life except for my sister. The only reason my sister knows anything is because we are twins, and we have always been together everywhere we go. I kept my personal life away from my family, and was honestly scared to talk to them about what was going on. I knew they loved me and cared for me, but the love and care they had I pushed away and did not accept it.

When my depression first began, I never told my family (I didn't tell anyone). I kept that to myself, and I kept everything bottled in. I didn't share my thoughts, opinions, or emotions with my family. I experienced the depression for almost three years before I had the courage to tell my parents what was going on. During my senior year, I went through a severe depression stage (not nearly as bad as recently). I remember crying one day on my way to work, and I texted my mom and told her I needed to talk to her. That night I sat on the couch with my mom and dad and told them some of what was going on. I never mentioned the depression, but I did mention my loss of appetite, lack of sleep, and emotional craziness. The word depression was never released from my mouth, so my parents had no idea what was going on. My stage of severe depression had diminished shortly after that night up until this semester.

My relationship with my brother has not been the healthiest (sorry brother, but keep reading). He is exactly 18 months older than me, and when he left for NC State we hardly ever spoke. We often fought and argued about pointless things. We were never really that close. My relationship with my sister was quite unique; I mean we are the most awesome set of twins ever! We were always close and always talked. We shared the same friends, and some of the same classes. I went to most of her sporting events - she's a beast! - and she came to all of mine that she could. During my severe depression though, my relationship with her went from being close to fighting. With depression you have a whole new personality, and soon I became the Evil twin. I remember being so mean to her for no reason, and remember all the horrible things that happened between us (sorry twin for that). My relationship with my siblings has been quite the experience, and up until this semester I never really appreciated them as much as I should; I just took them for granted.

This semester though, God worked through my depression to bring my family closer together. At first I was scared to tell my parents that I needed help, and that what I was experiencing was VERY serious. After my first counselling session at the school, I finally got the courage to tell my parents I needed to go to the doctor and receive some kind of medical attention. The next week was spring break, so luckily I was able to talk more with my parents about what was going on and actually fill them in on the life that I had been hiding from them. I realized then, somewhat of how much they loved me and cared for me, and their love started to register in my head. I never told my brother or sister about it, but they soon found out. I never knew how much they cared for me until then. We had never been that close, so I didn't think they would be too concerned, but I was definitely wrong.

Since my recent breakdowns have happened, God has brought my family so much closer. I have started to appreciate them more, and I praise God for putting them in my life. I now call my parents more and fill them in on my life. I love them more and more each minute that passes. The relationship between my siblings has completely changed. I am closer to my brother more now than I have ever been before. God has redeemed our relationship, and I am thankful for my brother. I can always count on him to make me laugh and cheer me up. I enjoyed beating him up now too; not really, he could eat me! My sister is my hero! She knows where she stands in her faith, and she has encouraged me and supported me in everything (just as the rest of my family). Since we are twins, we have a special bond. That bond is stronger than ever now, and I praise God for putting her into my life. My family has provided me with such great support my whole life, but in the midst of all this pain, God brought us closer than ever. I miss my family so much, and I cannot wait to see them this summer (except for my brother who has an awesome new job and I am excited to see God work through him with it).

I am so blessed to have the family that I have. Words cannot express the love I have for them, and I only wish I could show them how much they mean to me. God has worked through my depression to bring my family closer together and closer to Him. I praise my God every time I think of them- which is a lot!

To my family:

I love y'all so much, and I appreciate all y'all have done in my life.Y'all mean the world to me, and I cannot wait to see y'all again. Thank you for all the support and love you have given me over the years. I am so blessed to have each one of you in my life, and I am so glad I can call y'all family! God is doing great things for our family, and I am praying for each one of y'all everyday! I don't know what I would do without y'all.

I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH!

Back to everyone else:
My twin has a blog, and its pretty legit! God is working in her life so much, so I think y'all should check it out! http://loumbankhead.blogspot.com/